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07-01-2012, 06:03 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-01-2012, 06:08 PM by billy.)
(06-30-2012, 05:01 PM)addy Wrote: I remember this. The imagery is really great, just fantastical enough. The last line is a wee bit anticlimactic but not too bad ( "beast set free" i thought was good, but "is dead" sounds like a non-event)
will work o the last line in the edit addy, thanks for the feedback
(06-30-2012, 11:22 PM)Philatone Wrote: wasn't necessarily saying a pic-poem per se, but more something just to match the topic. e.g., making the line breaks a bit more irregular. again, completely understand if kept as-is
i'll def keep a line break change in mind though i haven't a lot to work with
(07-01-2012, 01:00 AM)Universalchild Wrote: Fantastic imagery, I enjoyed reading it. However, I felt it lacked emotion and insight and it didn't really bring anything new to the table.
I think it would really suit being a pic poem... I've only used it a couple of times myself (I'm not overly keen but I believe in trying things out!) - because it basically is a snapshot image of someone smoking heroin rather then an in-depth emotive account of someone experiencing heroin. It has inspired me to try and be more visual with my own poem though. I tend to underestimate the power of raw physical imagery in favour of atmosphere and feeling.
thanks for the feedback Uc; all valid points, though i'm not really fond of pic poetry. i think you got it right with the snapshot thing.
