Shadows

[billy]

On first read, i think it's a poem that asks for some grammar.

Shadows ever fleeting in the dark alleys
Catching glimpses through lit windows of a world
Only seen, never ventured ending this here and starting a 2nd verse.might add something
They gather in a place
Lit by the darkest of moon light
Whispering things only whispered by shadows
They whisper of their windows
For each one has a window
Forever peering into
A world they long for
But it was not meant to be feels very weak
For not even shadows dare to challenge fate
To rise against destiny
Here they come
The keepers of the windows
Frightened by shadows, only peering
They come with torches
Torches held aloft, held high
Spreading light into the dwellings of shadows
And scattering shadows into the sanctuaries
Not knowing, what they fear
Are merely shadows
So go forth, find you window
Pull back the curtains and fight for what fate denies you

Thanks in advance.

i like the poem but it does have a few problematic things going on.
a lot of the poem is repeated in different phrases. in places there seems to be an excess of small words. if you stripped these out the poem would become tighter. the use of shadow in title negates the need for using the word in the body of the poem;

ever fleeting in the dark alleys

for some reason i remember the Frankenstein stories when i read this. probably because of the torches line

thanks for the read.