(06-24-2012, 10:16 AM)billy Wrote: SPLIT a/SUNder, /TORN a/PART
from ONE/ horREND/ ous KILLing;
TILL a/ NEW the/ NEXT one/ STARTS
and BLOOD/ aFRESH /starts SPILLing. -- see, nice regular alternating meter here, two syllables per foot (iambs and trochees).
A LIFE/time's SKIES/ can't HIDE us.
We FAIL/; fall IN/ to the CROWD
hit the PAVE/ment WITH/ a CUSS; -- meter's all mixed up and your "us" syllables fall in different parts of your feet, so the rhyme is lost unless it's forced.
It could be worse