The Shite That Falls From Clouds.

[billy]

A lifetime's skies can't hide us. -- you miss a foot here, you could try "a lifetime's skies, they can't hide us"
We fail; fall into the crowd -- here you add a foot, maybe "we fail, fall through the crowd"
hit the pavement with a cuss; -- "and" would help at the start of this line

i'm struggling to see where and how i screwed it up, can you help by showing me please. that way i'll know why i'm fixing it

and thanks for the help so far. ><