The Shite That Falls From Clouds.

[billy]

Nightmare dreams precipitate:
Our thunderous thoughts collected;
and with the waking hours done
in sleep we're resurrected.

Through the maelstrom, run boy run
escape is not a given
once the carousel has spun
we surely will be riven. -- this line is awkward, though metrically sound -- what about "we'll certainly be riven"?

Split asunder torn apart -- a comma would help after asunder
from one horrendous killing; -- "from" or "by"?
till anew the next one starts
and blood afresh starts spilling.

A lifetime's skies can't hide us. -- you miss a foot here, you could try "a lifetime's skies, they can't hide us"
We fail; fall into the crowd -- here you add a foot, maybe "we fail, fall through the crowd"
hit the pavement with a cuss; -- "and" would help at the start of this line
catch our breath and cry out loud. -- I'd be tempted to split this line into two, a variant won't hurt:

catch our breath
cry out loud

Aside from losing your metric mojo in the last stanza, you've put a bloody good poem together here. What are you whinging about?

thanks leanne, i'll get on it before the weekend and do an edit.

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Solid structure. I think the surface texture is gorgeous, but the core of the poem is weaker: I'm guessing the "nightmare" that precipitates is the collective thoughts and actions of people and how it causes wars, devastation, etc, and indeed your imagery is sufficiently nightmarish and unnerving. but i don't get a strong sense of the message, or why you framed it as something that happens while we are unconscious. Perhaps its just my interpretation of it that's making it fuzzy.

Thanks addy.
it's just about generic nightmares about dying in a dreamworld. that you see more is a bonus clouds are often associated with dreams and generally we're just shiteballs in skin bags