Godzilla vs. Little Boy revision 2

[Leanne]

Revision 1
Godzilla vs. Little Boy
a postmodern fable

The cherry blossom
withers on the branch
echo of voices
--anonymous -- a lovely way to open, it sets the scene straight away as a contrast between what was and what is

You would have us believe
man did this to man—
truth fermented into such
bitter vintage. -- excellent juxtaposition against the 'ku, direct accusation vs indirect contemplation

Only a plane, a parachute,
and a child’s tantrum:
we reject this narrative.

Your monster fell
from the sky. Ours
have always been
beneath the surface. -- again these contrasts, not denying possession of monsters but rejecting the imposition of the foreign ones

Truth is in the breath that lit the horizon,
a burning afterimage shaming the sun,
in the cloud that rose
above the water, in the quiet

that seeps into each of us,
into the bones leaving us aphasic,
words reduced to faint scratches
in the dirt. -- this stanza and the one before are incredibly poignant -- "leaving us aphasic" conjures the images of the shadows on the streets of Hiroshima

We witnessed the city’s reprisal.
Roof tiles spun like propellers -- nice link to the planes
into the air
under a shroud of dark rain.

The blackened bodies continue
to clog the river.
Death it seems always comes
from the water.

The crater is his footprint.
The only truth is
that no one escaped
the rationalization that if we kill
there will be peace. -- these four lines I find just a little too heavy handed, maybe even preachy -- at the moment I can't think of a suggestion though, sorry

Gojira, Gojira, Gojira

Apologies if I'm repeating what's already been said, Todd, I haven't read any other comments -- but I really like this, it's a very powerful poem that's rich in allusion, the very best kind