06-26-2012, 05:54 PM
In such poems the "voice" is all important and there's a few occasions that the narrator ventures beyond his remit, notably the reference to Alice and the closing two lines as well.
I think filly would be better than lass. Then "Before the filly the mare was hitched to that post".
I get the point of land is sand and would is wood. Not so sure that Sun is son works in the same way and lines 7 and 8 could easily be omitted altogether, I think.
Yes, a disturbing poem, most effective when most disturbing. I'd have liked some hint as to why conceptualisation deserved a smashed head.
I liked 2My lads aren't raised on ink and page"
I think filly would be better than lass. Then "Before the filly the mare was hitched to that post".
I get the point of land is sand and would is wood. Not so sure that Sun is son works in the same way and lines 7 and 8 could easily be omitted altogether, I think.
Yes, a disturbing poem, most effective when most disturbing. I'd have liked some hint as to why conceptualisation deserved a smashed head.
I liked 2My lads aren't raised on ink and page"
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.