The Savages

[Philatone]

Me and the lads were scooping up steak with our hands ...like the colloquial opening. the whole first few lines give a setting that serves your purpose well
while the lass cried outside. We'd hitched her to a porch railing
and stood in line the night before, me at the front,
being everyone's pa. No other human life has set foot here
since the war of times ago. My lads aren't raised on ink and page. .."of times ago" felt a bit too dramatic to me
Sun is son and land is sand and would is wood and the lass' game;
"sister/daughter" means nothing; neither does "brother/son". ...hmm, the line felt disconnected from what preceded it. struck me as extra
(sun son sun son sun son sun son)
Images are faggot play. One lad was drawing in the land
so me and the others smashed his head.
Now he staggers everywhere. He's not cried like the lass though,
who cries so much I wonder if she'll wash herself away,
like Alice, that girl in the hole I heard about as a lad. ...wonderland?
Before the lass her ma was hitched to that post,
when the war still lived and arts weren't quite extinct.
A few painters and poets hid underground,
beating out their images. All that's left is literal....great close

will reiterate what tec said in that I didn't quite feel as close to the characters as I came to expect. I think the opening paints a stronger image of them then the close. I like the attack on art of sorts that the world of the poem presents