The Savages

[tectak]

Me and the lads were scooping up steak with our hands
while Sally cried outside. We'd hitched her to a porch railing
and stood in line the night before, me at the front,
being everyone's pa. No other human life has set foot here
since the war of times ago. My lads aren't raised on ink and page.
Sun is son and land is sand and would is wood and Sally's game;
"sister/daughter" means nothing; neither does "brother/son".
(sun son sun son sun son sun son)
Images are faggot play. One lad was drawing in the land
so me and the others smashed his head.
Now he staggers everywhere. He's not cried like Sally though,
who cries so much I wonder if she'll wash herself away,
like Alice, that girl in the hole I heard about as a lad.
Before Sally her ma was hitched to that post,
when the war still lived and arts weren't quite extinct.
A few painters and poets hid underground,
beating out their images. All that's left is literal.

I ought not to like this as it is a genre ( perhaps it is not a genre so much as a category) that I once espoused but no longer do so. There, that's the personal issue out of the way. Now to the crit. First, it is beatifully punctuated and so reads well; well enough, in fact, to obfuscate the literal descriptions of unsavoury intents. The use of real names, however, does cause comfort problems. Once a "real" name is used the implied veracity increases to the point of burning clarity, so much so that this reader feels inadequate in not knowing whether the tale is factual or not.
If Bonnie and Clyde had their story told under the title "Bastards" I feel that something would be lost. Accordingly, and I am struggling to find fault, I would have liked to have read this as "Sally's Story".
I cannot apologise for my lack of in depth knowledge of "what its all about" but do feel that the piece is less informative than it should be considering the familiarity impressed upon me by use of named characters.
Overall, this is a really smooth read: the road has no bumps or potholes. I only wish I knew where it was taking me.
Best,
Tectak