The Savages

[addy]

A hugely disturbing piece. i think its pretty effective at what it sets out to do. Makes it a little hard to critique but overall I like what I'm reading (though it is a hard read).

Me and the lads were scooping up steak with our hands
while Sally cried outside. We'd hitched her to a porch railing Up to this point you've kind of lulled us into a false sense of security, like maybe they were just having a barbecue and Sally's a dog. oh how wrong that is....
and stood in line the night before, me at the front,
being everyone's pa. No other human life has set foot here
since the war of times ago. My lads aren't raised on ink and page.
Sun is son and land is sand and would is wood and Sally's game;
"sister/daughter" means nothing; neither does "brother/son".
(sun son sun son sun son sun son)I like how you introduced this idea and built around it; the loss of art/stories as the loss of structures of ideals and meaning
Images are faggot play. One lad was drawing in the land
so me and the others smashed his head.
Now he staggers everywhere. He's not cried like Sally though,
who cries so much I wonder if she'll wash herself away,
like Alice, that girl in the hole I heard about as a lad.
Before Sally her ma was hitched to that post,
when the war still lived and arts weren't quite extinct.
A few painters and poets hid underground,
beating out their images. All that's left is literal. Chilling end. Again, i thought this piece was effective.