The Passion of the Wife

[tectak]

This is a churlish crit, tinged with envy. This is a very good piece of work. To those who say that there is no such thing as bad poetry, and hence deny the concept of quality, I would ask that they read this and reconsider their stance. Any small nit I pick up will be just that. Small. You may disregard my comments completely

I release my longing through small doors.
While boiling eggs as you showered
I thrust my hands into the pan, A boring plea. Why split the stanza here? Why at all?

holding them there for as long as I could.
I screamed and saw the face of Christ
looming just above the stove.Just perfect imagery combined with brutal high-accutance imagery. Very well done><><><

Vinegar from the sponge in His mouth
dripped into the water,
and I wept with satisfaction.Salt and vinegar, crisp and clear. I haven't got Aish's gift of extrapolated interpretation. WISIWIG.

Later, when you'd come downstairs,
you asked me why I screamed.
I asked you why you didn't run

when you heard me screaming.
I couldn't hold a pen all day.
I told the priest it was an accidentPrefer a semi or full colon here and wonder why you needed parentheses for the next line which is surely non-confessional. It confuses the piece to suddenly wonder who is being "confided" in that after all that has been said, this small inner aside must be somehow under one's breath or unspoken thought. After all, by definition, parentheses should used to add some information or clarification to an otherwise free-standing line

(I'm sure he thinks you're hurting me).
There is a truth somewhere,
in churches, symbols and The Book.

In accepting this truth I've denied your falsity,
the deceptive fact of your penis,
like songs which heathens promise are pure.

When it throbbed against my leg
as you held me,
your face in a vise,Vice?

begging me to handle it,Full stop here
I closed my eyes and thought of Him.Comma to be sure but semi colon to be though provoking
But of course you went no further.

I know there's goodness inside you,
somewhere beyond that mindless lust,
which views my body as more than a home

for ours and God's children.
As your wife I will help you find it,
as well as your own small doors.

I do not pretend to look for symbolism in a piece so clearly and precisely expressed. I am happy with the surefootedness of your style and would confidently follow you over very rocky ground. This is to my mind a mark of excellence. Very well done.
Best,
tectak