Chorus

[heslopian]

I broke off two of her fingers,

the green lacy hands reaching,
reaching,
trembling Should a comma go here?
beckoning me inside,
to the faded shadows where time stands
and attempts to be still. Excellent image from "to the" to "be still". Serene and almost holy.

Sticky saplings bed into my palm,
first outstretched,
then curled as a paw. These and following lines about the transformation reminded me of the Apollo and Daphne myth, and Bernini's sculpture depicting them as she transforms. You convey the change with elegance and quiet beauty.

I wish to growl and unfurl my goddess... I think a comma should go after "unfurl", otherwise this line could be supposed to mean that the narrator's unfurling a goddess (which I assume isn't your intention? If it is then disregard this).

to reach into the past
and chant holy words
beneath heaven's heavy quilt,
Raw and awakened in a newly formed world. This verse has an air of cleansing about it which I liked, like taking a hot bath and emerging somehow new.

Dusk rises like an apparition,
cools the air into suspended crystals
dancing just above my bottom lip
curved, in both inspiration and awe.

Loam reaches out,
surrounds my feet and ankles, beckoning.
Come, be one and decay
beneath the wormy earth and rotting leaves. Everything from "come" to "leaves" is deliciously melancholy.
Replenish the cycle. For me this line has connotations of fascism and Nazi-esque coldness. Could just be me.

One day, my loves...
one day I shall join you,
and sing the chorus of hosts. Effective closing tercet.

Critique is JMHO. Thanks for the read.