Love Letter

[whitewand6]

while this edit makes the piece feel more meditative or spiritual, i think it loses the essence of the original. though i did find the 2nd stanza pretty raunchy i have to say i prefer the original at present though i'm glad the ing words have gone. the last stanza of the edit feels like a 60's chat up line

it's great to see people here who can take feedback properly
sorry i couldn't be more positive with the edit

Billy,

Glad to have you back. This is not a revision in truth [as you can see]
I simply tweaked/altered/got rid of. Well meditative summed it beautifully, and yet I agree that the overall feel of the original is amiss here upto
some extent.

I will add 'ING' words to my don'ts. [Hey! Still learning.]

60's chat up line made me laugh. That was a meaningful punch. [Ah! Those times.]

I will give it some thought and go get some fresh air before attempting a rewrite [almost bed ridden/sapped for last two days] and even more if
required. Till it is in its best form.

Thank you for your time Billy.

MJ salute,

Sumeet