Rockstar

[whitewand6]

Weeks of chemical abuse leave his dull mind stale,

Nothing wrong with it. It is a .22 bang of a start. Two adjectives
however stuck out. Borderline overkill IMO. Here, as we are aware that the character in question is an addict, dull is almost an inherent image.
However weeks of abuse can make his mind stale. That's an image.

reflection reveals dark eyes sunken, skin turned pale,

May be the placement of 'dark'. W.r.t the eyes, it could be placed
along with sunken. Sunken, dark eyes.

the kind of face both child-like and yet so very old,

Love this contrast. Almost plaintive and quite potent.

clothes are torn and dirty, flesh is wet and cold.

Could be stripped a bit IMO. Are/Is are almost redundant.

Shaking, clutching his smoke, his cancerous crutch,

This is a very graphic image. The addition of crutch makes it even better putting forward the idea of dependency.

harmless in his sadness and so gentle in his touch,

Again, beautiful touch. A simple and yet powerful image.

but nobody can see him for he is the urban ghost,

I love this line. Stark and tangible. [Esp. Urban ghost]

blinded by the acrid fumes to which he is engrossed.

I feel engrossed could be replaced. It's almost too positive
a verb to used in such a sinister context. IMO.

Homeless thus forever lost, his poverty sincere,

Like I have said before these nouns/adjectives can be grouped
and I believe their essence will be intact and yet it will pack
a punch. e.g- Lost/homeless


fear drives him to seek solace, his new motive is clear,
but crack inside his pipe becomes the cracks inside his mind,

This is good writing. Very effective use of jargon.

and it cracks in the foundations of the life he left behind.

Twice was good enough. Though it works well
it is is a bit extra IMO.

Life a nightmare endless, but he begins to form a dream,
swirling dust, cardinal paint, some strange metallic gleam,
these hidden dirty memories of what was once his home,
remind him why he must be free and ever must he roam.

The character's inner belief and state has been portrayed well
here. Almost reminds me of the idealists. Hidden and Dirty can be interchanged. IMO

Perhaps he once was clever, for his words are full of jargon,

Jargon=Essentially words. A little tweak may be.

talks in hopes of pennies, which with crystals he will bargain,

Love the contrast here again.

then huddles in amongst the filth and wraps himself in lies,
surrounded by a cloud of smoke in which his spirit flies.

Huddle greatly fits in this setting. Love the last line.
Sums it up beautifully with a robust image.

I have noticed a rhyme structure. found it somehwhat irregular
and yet it works at places. May be a little edit will make it more
visceral. I like the central idea from a neutral PoV.

I won't go into the content and the whats and whys. As the writer you know your subject well
and my job is to make sure that the poem gets better than how it was last time.

Happy writing,

Regards,

Sumeet