06-16-2012, 08:20 AM
Great piece. This is just a nit but I think it could be edited some more, in that some of the lines are more inspired than others, and do a lot more for the piece. So there are other lines that are mediocre by comparison, and they end up reading as forced and long-winded by comparison. Just my taste though. Overall I really enjoyed it
( I really liked the first stanza especially)
( I really liked the first stanza especially)
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
