06-16-2012, 07:18 AM
as a response to the other poem, rather than having an initial intention to be critiqued, i'm seeing this piece in a slightly different way (if you want my feedback, I'll be happy to dig into it as well!).
is this supposed to be the same guilt as the other? It carries a sense of unfaithfulness that, while not necessarily lacking in the other piece (you can see suggestions of it, especially now), was not as strong as here.
there does seem to be a similar progression, what with moving from guilt to protest (hate). I guess I was imagining a different cause for the problems in the relationship
btw, a nice read overall
is this supposed to be the same guilt as the other? It carries a sense of unfaithfulness that, while not necessarily lacking in the other piece (you can see suggestions of it, especially now), was not as strong as here.
there does seem to be a similar progression, what with moving from guilt to protest (hate). I guess I was imagining a different cause for the problems in the relationship
btw, a nice read overall
Written only for you to consider.