Memory

[billy]

sorry for not replying to the original geoff, i'll leave my feedback for the edit.

V.2 changes made on Dale's suggestions



It is easy to remove photographs
from a memory card; good clean start

three buttons to press in order
to unlock a blue screen,
a flash of an hourglass. By then, by then doesn't work

the album empties itself. We only erase
the dining room, before paneling (panelling)
was stripped by a hammer the 2nd 2 lines feels like it needs some clarity

held by a slender pair of hands.
Gone are the slides of the transition is the 'are' needed?
from table and chandelier

to counter and floating island,
or even the glisten of those eyes
once dust thinned and the mask fell

in a picture. The first wall we ever took down
has no frame to remind us
of the color of the wood

we trashed, wiped, cleared,
deleted, erased, forgot.

great concept. i was in a muddle after the first stanza and then i realised what it was all about. because of that i think you need to do a better transition from memory card to real life occurrence (memories) the title helped me get to grips but i think i had to work more than i should have.

got lots of promise has this

thanks for the read.