The Missing Game

[billy]

V:2
You're chasing ghosts I think this would work better as the 2nd stanza as a sort of chorus.
in this missing game
don't look down
no, don't look down

Stay a while and maybe we'll forget
all these things we've learned to hate
before I leave you standing
at the edge of lonely hearted-ness it feels like you're attempting to by pas a cliche it doesn't really work that well
staring up and away from the abyss
of things that cannot be

'Cause I don't miss you like a lover should the words of jerry lee lewis though his line was, let me love you like a lover should
and I'm no longer making love to ghosts
under these nostalgic, bruised skies
that spell out our names
in a broken you-me tragedy

So don't look down
no, don't look down
at the dusty bones of me
that always break your ribs open
just stay a while and maybe we'll forget
all these things we've learned to hate
while chasing dreams that were never
meant to be


V:1
You're chasing ghosts
in this missing game
don't look down
no, don't look down

Stay a while and maybe we'll forget
all these things we've learned to hate
before I leave you standing
at the edge of lonely hearted-ness
staring up and away from the abyss
of things that cannot be

'Cause I don't miss you like a lover should
and I'm no longer making love to ghosts
under these nostalgic, bruised skies
that spell out our names
in a broken you-me tragedy

So don't look down
no, don't look down
at the dusty bones of me
that always break your ribs open
just stay a while and maybe we'll forget
all these things we've learned to hate
while chasing dreams that were never
meant to be

And we'll play this missing game
one more time
with broken chest cavities
and topless bottles
under a dying nostalgic sky

nostalgic, nostalgic; makes it actually feel too nostalgic. would improve loads if you made it less wordy, you have some redundant words that wouldn't be missed. 'these things' and swap cliche where ever you can for original. .

the poem itself reminds me of robbie william's angels song, though i'm not sure why

thanks for the read