06-10-2012, 06:34 PM
I agree. I threw this up without much consideration and there are many lines I would change, such as
"it matters not what color hair they have on their head,"
to
"it matters not what color hair is on their head"
I will not seek the refuge others have sought by saying it doesn't matter as it is only a joke poem. All poems, regardless of purpose deserve to be treated with a certain seriousness as to their form, regardless how trivial the subject. If one writes a doggerel,one should write a doggerel as well as they can, not giving it short shift because of it purpose or form. So you are quite right to upbraid me in my carelessness and flippancy. I will as soon as time permits tighten it up.
Dale
"it matters not what color hair they have on their head,"
to
"it matters not what color hair is on their head"
I will not seek the refuge others have sought by saying it doesn't matter as it is only a joke poem. All poems, regardless of purpose deserve to be treated with a certain seriousness as to their form, regardless how trivial the subject. If one writes a doggerel,one should write a doggerel as well as they can, not giving it short shift because of it purpose or form. So you are quite right to upbraid me in my carelessness and flippancy. I will as soon as time permits tighten it up.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.