Rockstar

[billy]

Weeks of chemical abuse leave his dull mind stale, weeks? (is the time relevant, if so why not months or years?
reflection reveals dark eyes sunken, skin turned pale, i like the "reflection" in conjunction with star
the kind of face both child-like and yet so very old, why not just "a face..."
clothes are torn and dirty, flesh is wet and cold. too generic

Shaking, clutching his smoke, his cancerous crutch,
harmless in his sadness and so gentle in his touch,
but nobody can see him for he is the urban ghost,
blinded by the acrid fumes to which he is engrossed.

Homeless thus forever lost, his poverty sincere,
fear drives him to seek solace, his new motive is clear,
but crack inside his pipe becomes the cracks inside his mind,
and it cracks in the foundations of the life he left behind.

Life a nightmare endless, but he begins to form a dream,
swirling dust, cardinal paint, some strange metallic gleam,
these hidden dirty memories of what was once his home,
remind him why he must be free and ever must he roam.

Perhaps he once was clever, for his words are full of jargon,
talks in hopes of pennies, which with crystals he will bargain,
then huddles in amongst the filth and wraps himself in lies,
surrounded by a cloud of smoke in which his spirit flies.

there's flashes of really good in there universal; showing poverty can be about something other than a lack of wealth, though he also sounds poor . (wasn't enamoured by 'thus' in the same line though. it does remind me a little of ozzy osbourne but more of that type of essence needs to be captured. i can see some of the rock star has-been attributes in there but they need to be more image based. at present were being told the story. show us the story if you can.
thanks for the read