06-05-2012, 11:31 AM
"I'm not sure there is such a well-defined subject or standard I *absolutely need* to adhere to.."
I didn't say anything about a standard, I said subject, i.e., the event you are describing, the subject of the poem. In particular the juxtaposition of the internal reality of the soldier, with the sorrow of the girl's father. To interject obviously contrived idioms into a retelling of this event, demeans the girl, the father, and the soldier, but especially when you interject something like "someone hugs the slump" that even if we overlook the disturbing connotative aspects, you are still objectifying the girl when you use the article "the". This is not a standard, but a basic human reaction to be revolted by such a treatment of a human being.
"Technically you can call anything art (or call anything worthless). I'm sorry if I make it difficult for you to criticize my work for not using a good writing standard.. unfortunately I'm not willing to invest such great time and effort. I'm not even sure how it should be read. But, I'd like my writing to be criticized with all this given, if that's doable."
With all what given? Do you mean we should ignore that you write poorly, or that what you write makes no sense? As those are two major areas of critique I don't see that happening.
" I'm not willing to invest such great time and effort."
Evidently you have a misconception about the necessary work it takes to become a poet or any kind of artist. I understand that. I was under the same misconception when younger. I was a poor prose writer, and I thought I could ignore my deficits in grammar, punctuation, and so on by writing poetry. Poetry is not a refuge for the writing novice who shuns the hard work. Talent alone in any field is not sufficient. I hope you will reconsider about investing "such great time and effort" because that is what it takes. Being both a musician and a visual artist, I can assure you that poetry is a much more difficult medium to master than either of those. However if you wish critiques to be restricted, you might consider posting in the novice forum, as the critiques do take into consideration the fact the writer has not spent much time yet honing his craft.
Best,
Dale
I didn't say anything about a standard, I said subject, i.e., the event you are describing, the subject of the poem. In particular the juxtaposition of the internal reality of the soldier, with the sorrow of the girl's father. To interject obviously contrived idioms into a retelling of this event, demeans the girl, the father, and the soldier, but especially when you interject something like "someone hugs the slump" that even if we overlook the disturbing connotative aspects, you are still objectifying the girl when you use the article "the". This is not a standard, but a basic human reaction to be revolted by such a treatment of a human being.
"Technically you can call anything art (or call anything worthless). I'm sorry if I make it difficult for you to criticize my work for not using a good writing standard.. unfortunately I'm not willing to invest such great time and effort. I'm not even sure how it should be read. But, I'd like my writing to be criticized with all this given, if that's doable."
With all what given? Do you mean we should ignore that you write poorly, or that what you write makes no sense? As those are two major areas of critique I don't see that happening.
" I'm not willing to invest such great time and effort."
Evidently you have a misconception about the necessary work it takes to become a poet or any kind of artist. I understand that. I was under the same misconception when younger. I was a poor prose writer, and I thought I could ignore my deficits in grammar, punctuation, and so on by writing poetry. Poetry is not a refuge for the writing novice who shuns the hard work. Talent alone in any field is not sufficient. I hope you will reconsider about investing "such great time and effort" because that is what it takes. Being both a musician and a visual artist, I can assure you that poetry is a much more difficult medium to master than either of those. However if you wish critiques to be restricted, you might consider posting in the novice forum, as the critiques do take into consideration the fact the writer has not spent much time yet honing his craft.
Best,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.