Love and war

[tectak]

The saviour saves the son, but buries the father
In a caseload of lead shed from bullion beautiful gold
In God's word, someone hugs the slump with trembling fingers which,
In the cold dusk of the sandland, let slip like dug soil-
Faith in humanity.


A year away: soldiers' souls torn in the silence of solemn report
That the villagers are looking for a dead daughter...
Lost in the long night of mortar-bombing. The unwitting killer
Cries, slumped with his head in his hands. Like the scars of split heads,
His memory will jerk back when he sees children.

I am not good enough to crit this...twas, however, brillig and the slivey tove did most consequentially gyre and holistically gimble. IMO
Best,
Tectak



(end)
I want to know what works and what really doesn't.
Thanks in advance