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The Flood
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06-01-2012, 05:49 PM
I see what you're trying to say with this. IMO it comes across like you're telling me a story rather than showing me a story with your words. I've got some other nits with this over some of the phrasing which is a bit weak in its execution. I'll come back to this when I've got more time.
 Indie
"Poets are shameless with their experiences: they exploit them." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: The Flood - by Indie - 06-01-2012, 05:49 PM
RE: The Flood - by tectak - 06-01-2012, 05:49 PM
RE: The Flood - by Erthona - 06-01-2012, 10:37 PM
RE: The Flood - by tectak - 06-01-2012, 10:59 PM
RE: The Flood - by Erthona - 06-01-2012, 11:27 PM
RE: The Flood - by Philatone - 06-02-2012, 05:02 AM
RE: The Flood - by Philatone - 06-05-2012, 01:43 PM
RE: The Flood - by penguin - 06-07-2012, 09:04 PM
RE: The Flood - by billy - 06-08-2012, 10:18 AM
RE: The Flood - by addy - 06-08-2012, 10:45 AM
RE: The Flood - by Philatone - 06-10-2012, 06:02 AM
RE: The Flood - by billy - 06-11-2012, 11:50 AM
RE: The Flood - by addy - 06-12-2012, 08:55 AM
RE: The Flood - by Philatone - 06-14-2012, 06:58 AM
RE: The Flood - by billy - 06-14-2012, 07:42 AM
RE: The Flood - by addy - 06-14-2012, 07:44 AM
RE: The Flood - by Philatone - 06-16-2012, 06:59 AM
RE: The Flood - by billy - 06-16-2012, 09:59 PM
RE: The Flood - by addy - 06-17-2012, 12:28 PM
RE: The Flood - by Philatone - 06-17-2012, 01:59 PM
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