Revelation

[Leanne]

...harsh effluence still sounds a sigh;
angels circle round the corners of my eyes;
Death’s shadow falls over me,
I know my own mortality,
and broken is the seal,
when a poem is real.


©2012 –Erthona

Hi there Dale, just thought I'd wade into the effluence, super-strength wellies on... for me, effluence does have sewage connotations but I'd like to buck the trend and say that I was quite pleased with the way that works in conjunction with the broken seal as it gives the impression of "real poetry" rising above all of that muck. Now, that's no doubt different to your intent but I thought I'd offer a different spin. Additionally -- in my head at least -- there is the contrast between the emissions of the mortal flesh and the more superb ether beyond the seventh seal. So I like it, a tiny little piece that opens up many worlds of possibility.