The Haircut:

[tectak]

1st edit; thanks to tecktaks input (not sure if repercussion works in the 4th)

Looking through up-turned eyes;
a middle-aged reflection.
Smocked and prepped, chin on chest,
riding the barber’s chair.

I succumb to the calming snip-snip-snip.
Sharp steel blades
dance and coldly clip
a receding hairline.

“One size fits all”

Saturday evening, haircut night.
A chair and fifteen nervous boys
carapaced in government-green
of a painted brick corridor.

“Who’s first?”

No one moves; blunt clippers leave scars.
The finger fires at me; I edge forward.
Better to volunteer when the finger points.
Less painful than any repercussion.

Tin bowl on head, I snigger with fear.
A knee connects to my ribcage.
Winded, I double up. The bowl falls.
In silence, the pain wraps itself
around black size tens.
Eventually i complain in anger.

Men running, shouting.
Feet and fists help me to sleep;
thin sheets cover, never protect.
Don’t cry, never cry, never ever cry.

“Does Sir have something in his eye?”

---

Original:

Looking through up-turned eyes;
a middle aged reflection.
Smocked and prepped, chin on chest,
riding the barber’s chair.

I succumb to the calming snip-snip.
Sharp steel blades
dance and coldly clip
a receding hairline

“One size fits all”

Saturday evening, haircut night.
A chair and fifteen nervous boys
carapaced in the institutionalised green
of a brick painted corridor.

“Who’s first?”

No one moves; blunt clippers leave scars.
The finger fires at me; I edge forward.
Better to volunteer when the finger points.
Less painful than fist or belt.

Tin bowl on head, I snigger with fear.
A knee connects to my ribcage.
Winded, I double up. The bowl falls.
In silence, the pain wraps itself
around black size tens.
Eventually i complain in anger.

Men running, shouting.
Feet and fists help me to sleep;
thin sheets cover, never protect.
Don’t cry, never cry, never ever cry.

“Does Sir have something in his eye?”

---

this is an older one i hurriedly reworked

---

Hi billy.
Good edit but take courage and hold on to convictions. The snip snip snip buggers up the meter of the next line so if this eye offends thee....pluck it out!
Best,
tectak/
PS I like this more than I care to admit. I often find it difficult to crit terse-verse. It really is worth a bit of housekeeping....workshopping is probably no longer required.