Loss

[addy]

A truly moving piece Indie . Here are a few of my comments on the edit

V:2
There is an infestation of cockroaches breeding in my mind
Gestating a new generation of insanity among the layers of hurt maybe change "among" to something else-- "within"? "between"? etc
And erratic emotions that come with the baby dreams how about "infant dreams"?
Of what was lost as it grew; loved in the warmth of a womb
Now a tomb, an unwanted bleeding monument
To the loss of life, hope; of a chance at motherhood "... to the loss of life", I found to be an uninspired line. A tomb is, quite literally, a monument to the loss of life, so no point reiterating it

A rifle cocked, a trigger pulled, a rush of blood and agony
Where are the boys? Where are my boys? What went wrong?
When will we go hunting my love, when will we find an answer? i felt there was something really interesting here, a key part of the narrative that I found myself wanting to get a better sense of. Was hunting mentioned as a pleasant memory, a 'boys will be boys' type of activity, only to be contrasted with more fatal themes? It strikes me as potent, and overall seems very different from how the rest of the stanza tapers off into vaguer and more generic ideas. i feel you're better off building a stanza from the former rather than the latter
To justify death, the hollow void "hollow void" is redundant within me that could not carry on maybe rephrase the sense of this entire line... it sounds odd to characterize a void (state of inanimate nothingness) as unable to carry on (inferring agency)
And so extinguished the light, plunging my world, our world into darkness

My heart is empty though it beats its rhythmic pulse "beats its rhythmic pulse" verges on redundancy too, I think. Instead of "rhythmic", make use of an adjective that will contribute something more to complement your narrative. at my wrists
That I know my soul won’t bleed out of should I take to the sharps i quite like this line (is "of" a typo, though?)
And chase my boys into the long cold sleep of forever Maybe just a taste thing, but imo I'd like this line better without the "of forever" at the end
Where I’d rather be, than here, alive, without them to love.

Thanks for the read