05-22-2012, 03:03 PM
there's not a lot to give feedback on 
not sure the use of light twice in such a short is wise as you want all words to count.
i like it but i think you need one more line as a transition from the figure to the 1st person.
thanks for your 1st poem.

not sure the use of light twice in such a short is wise as you want all words to count.
i like it but i think you need one more line as a transition from the figure to the 1st person.
thanks for your 1st poem.
