The Haircut:

[tectak]

Looking through up-turned eyes;nicebecause Iknow what you mean. Very refreshing these days
a middle aged reflection.middle-aged unless you mean a Dorian

Smocked and prepped, chin on chest,
riding the barber’s chair.perfectly suited to the piece. Galloping along

I succumb to the calming snip-snip.try snip-snip-snip to see how it beats
Sharp steel blades
dance and coldly clip
a receding hairlinestop

“One size fits all”

Saturday evening, haircut night.
A chair and fifteen nervous boys
carapaced in the institutionalised greeninstitutionalised has way too many syllables. Try"...in the mandatory green"
of a brick painted corridor.of a painted brick corridor"

“Who’s first?”

No one moves; blunt clippers leave scars.
The finger fires at me; I edge forward.
Better to volunteer when the finger points.
Less painful than fist or belt.possibly over-Freudian.Something more likely,a bad word as it is your poem," less painful than a clip across the ear" to link to the clippers

Tin bowl on head, I snigger with fear.
A knee connects to my ribcage.
Winded, I double up. The bowl falls.
In silence, the pain wraps itself
around black size tens.
Eventually i complain in anger.

Men running, shouting.
Feet and fists help me to sleep;
thin sheets cover, never protect.
Don’t cry, never cry, never ever cry.[/b]the last two stanzas fall off a cliff and yet they are so relevant to the piece. I can hear the plaintive scream as gravity takes hold. Then silence. Is there no way you could provide a parachute? There is also some grindingly irritating lack of precision in the pen and ult stanzas. I felt that I really wanted to be an emotional part of the end game but I was suddenly excluded.
In truth,billy, this is appears to be a very interesting commentary on a quasi-serious period in the writer's life. Why quasi? Well, there are some humorous expressions/descriptions (accidental?) in the piece which initially lull the reader into a kind of sing-song familiarity. Then.....Bang! I am left wondering if I totally misunderstood the intent. This is a far worse predicament than total bewilderment or total comprehension!
Overall, I wish I had written it. ( oh.....you will, you will.........one day when incarcerated, perhaps)
Best,
Tectak
Last line below is perfect. Don't know how I got myself here.


“Does Sir have something in his eye?”

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this is an older one i hurriedly reworked

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