~Ode To Rebecca~

[billy]

hallucination form lack of sleep and possibly banned substances..

there's a lot of good stuff going on in there though some of the repetition and packing could be edited out in order to make it less prose. some of the simile could be improved upon by cutting part of them away.
at present the block writing isn't doing the poem any justice.

the title feels a bit iffy as the piece reads more like "a smurf's tale"
i think you need to get the cutting board out and give it some breathing space.

great to see you again btw

thanks for read.
billy