~Ode To Rebecca~

[addy]

An interesting piece, I quite enjoyed what you were going for (I think). The narrator hasn't slept for 50 hours, and he has started to hallucinate. Why hasn't he slept? The title is "ode to rebecca" even though none of it resembles an ode, so I'm guessing this is a dark humor piece that documents his mental breakdown after a breakup or maybe even Rebecca's death (this is just guesswork). The fact that it's the most lucid description of a hallucination I ever read made the piece doubly intriguing, though Phil is right that it does have its weak points (it sometimes struggles between straightforward and longwinding, muddling the effect for the reader)

Perhaps the piece could be more cohesive if you insert more hints and clues about the Rebecca thing (assuming my interpretation of your intent is correct). Maybe have an ending for the letter, too since you already began it with salutations to Rebecca.

Thanks for sharing