05-11-2012, 10:38 AM
I personally much prefer the first version. I read the second one first and I wasn't sure what was going on. I got that police were surrounding a cab, but the cab driver seemed innocent of any crime and aside from the cashier no-one else was alluded to. I felt the core of the piece was missing.
The first version was much more succinct and clear about its narrative. It tells a simple story well. I like the detail that the robber was arranging his arm to look like a gun. In the second version the robber is absent, which confuses the whole thing. It's like if The Silence of the Lambs removed every scene featuring Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill.
I think the essential difference between the two versions is that the first is crisp and rounded, while the second substitutes narrative for abstraction. JMHO of course. Thanks for the read.
The first version was much more succinct and clear about its narrative. It tells a simple story well. I like the detail that the robber was arranging his arm to look like a gun. In the second version the robber is absent, which confuses the whole thing. It's like if The Silence of the Lambs removed every scene featuring Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill.
I think the essential difference between the two versions is that the first is crisp and rounded, while the second substitutes narrative for abstraction. JMHO of course. Thanks for the read.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe