Epilogue of Love

[Philatone]

hey!
looking at the latest

V.2
There was something so vulnerable in the ending
Laying, curled around each other’s feet
Clutching at the memories of yesterday
Like we were the air we needed to breathe..just checking: like "we" were... or like "they (the memories) were"?
My face buried in the nook of your ankle
Inhaling the warm, familiar scent of you.

...feels tighter

And in the silence of my arms wrapped
Around your feet, I was nothing more than a child
Trying to hold on to her favourite teddy bear
Frayed, and torn, and falling apart
Smelling of must and decay, with undertones
Of nicotine and whiskey.

..again, already a fan of this stanza

My eyes leaking starlight, glistening unseen
Against your skin, I kissed the memory of your ankle...I'm not sure why (and so, you can probably ignore this ), but now I'm stumbling a bit with these first two lines. I think it has to do with flow, what with all of the dependent clauses (the leaking, the glistening); finding a way to combine the two lines would enhance the flow a bit for me


Took a shaky breath, and let go.

...

feels tighter now