Fantastic edit Phil! It seems this one took a lot of hits in critique but the final product is beautifully slick.
I'm probably going to be loudly disagreed with here
... but I rather enjoyed your earlier ending, only because it had more of a sense of motion and energy to it; a spark. It fit well with the "coming back to life" thing, whereas in the latest edit the final couplet sounds more like it's settling in, tonally, rather than breaking out on a high note. That's just my personal take, though. Great read 
addendum: Just thought of it now, while pondering my comment. I probably liked the understated progression of the images from the cold, to the paper nest (kindling), to a wick, to motion and "fire"--- but of course the sense of it inverted because they've been brought into a sanitized existence from a wild one. I think overall it gels together pretty nicely
I'm probably going to be loudly disagreed with here
... but I rather enjoyed your earlier ending, only because it had more of a sense of motion and energy to it; a spark. It fit well with the "coming back to life" thing, whereas in the latest edit the final couplet sounds more like it's settling in, tonally, rather than breaking out on a high note. That's just my personal take, though. Great read addendum: Just thought of it now, while pondering my comment. I probably liked the understated progression of the images from the cold, to the paper nest (kindling), to a wick, to motion and "fire"--- but of course the sense of it inverted because they've been brought into a sanitized existence from a wild one. I think overall it gels together pretty nicely
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?