Mother Dearest

[Indie]

a big wow from me. the difference is great (in a good way) the poem feels stronger, and you still kept it from being vulgar. some of the images that are more defined work really well.

my only constructive crit is that you used a lot of packing phrases. i'm sure other will disagree but i think this sort of poem needs to be as tight as possible. anyway,; great 1st edit indie. good poem.
thanks for the new read

billy

ps, all caps on poems where grammar is used doesn't work for me. so i call foul on all caps in this one
pps, you didn't actually use much grammar but you did use it

Thanks so much Billy, this is great. I'll work on the edit when I get back. I know I'm a bit OCD on the grammar and punctuation, a bad habit I've not let go of from short story writing.