Godzilla vs. Little Boy revision 2

[tectak]

Someone told someone a story
about the cloud that rose above the water,
the light that dimmed the sun,
and the awful quiet, settling
as a shroud of dark rain.

Survivors usually walk away,
only no one escaped
the rationalization that if we kill
there will be peace.

The roof tiles spun like propellers
launched into the air
in impotent reprisal:why is is this specifically in reprisal. The whole damned buildings gone to kingdom come, your children are dead.......and impotent or not, a secondary effect of the primary cause is described as a reprisal. You could get away with "as if in futile reprisal" Bugger. Two tiles! But you know what I mean.
as blackened bodies floated
down the river. Our throatsthis is not a sentence unless you can connect it to the previous observation conditionally"
finally too parched to drink.

You would have us believe
that man did this to mansome punctuation required....you choose. Unless see next line
that truth can be distilled:and that truth...
to a plane, a parachute,[b] I don't think you can distill " to" anything and certainly not a plane. I get the feeling but it needs restructuring here.
and measured in seconds.
We reject this narrative.

We have the footprint,and the rest, as they say, will be history
the shrill metallic roar,
the truth of the breath.

Gojira, Gojira, Gojirathe rest...I like. Oh oh. Is that an acceptable crit?

The cherry blossom
withers on the branch
echo of voices

Hi todd,
Glad to see you are posting. This one is a tough call contextually. I felt that the first line was a little "once upon a time-ish" and I took a line or two to pull myself together again. As an opening it did not engage me; even taking it on face value it is not really leading in to relevance. You are about to write on a big issue, something which has been the subject for dozens of writers, observers, pundits and poets. At the very least an exposive start would start this chain reaction
L1 "Many men have told this story," would, I think, at least have lit the blue touch paper.
Suggestions only,now:
...light that shamed the sun

.....awe-full, awsome(yuk),but are you really happy with awful....it was a bit more than that, I believe. Awful weather we are having....it been raining. Hmmmmmm.

.........but no one . "Only no one " is failed selectivity implying "no one except".

Overall, a workable concept. Wish I had thought of it. Oh....I had
But you saw the possibilities. A liquid edit would be anticipated.
Best,
Tectak