Black Dog Days

[billy]

Edit 1. Philatone

Black dog lies beside my bed
and dreams his dreams inside my head.
In precious time when black dog sleeps,
I lie awake whilst my thoughts creep the 'my' feels forced, (how about black or some other word?)
into the black of black dog night ,
into the hopeless morning light,
into the next of ever days. a good solid 1st verse.

Black dog stalks me. Turn, he’ll follow!
He shadows dawn, makes dark tomorrow.
Coming suns are burning fires,
in darkest nights are funeral pyres,
in bright spring days a piercing beam,
in summers warm a blinding gleam;
in to the next of ever days.

Black dog faithful by my side,
He walks in shade, a constant guide.
His will prevails, I bow to him;
I turn my way but he will win.
I turn again and strain the leash
and I am dragged away from peace, the near rhyme just makes it
into the next of ever days.

Black dog breathes and fills my air
with stench of fear and deep despair.
Black dog growls in dreams he owns,
I feel his teeth abrade my bones,
I feel his eyes upon me fixed,
I feel his hot, abrasive licks
and I am him in ever days.

Tectak June 2011

Posted after a suitable delay following the suggestion by heslopian.
previously posted elsewhere and not yet mauled.

i'm sure i read this else where, though i can't recall.

just the one nit with the forced my. other than that no nits. i liked the repetition and the rolling refrain.
i did like that the 1st two lines gave us an insight as to what the poem was about. fear is abundant in the black dog metaphor, or should i say constant fear.
this one was hard for me, i felt changes were needed but preferred it as is...and that doesn't mean i'm on the fence. i think it's a bit primitive in places but it works. maybe thats why.

so sorry but all you get is the one nit

thanks for the read,