05-02-2012, 09:51 AM
a genuine hehe.
i found it to be too procrastinating...at first, then cometh godzilla it all fitted together.
i do see a message in their and godzilla being used as a sort of carrier which makes it work as a strong 2nd level. (if it was intended to be so) the haiku at the end, just stops short of being a senryu (which means it's a haiku...just) which ties in really well with gozira
The roof tiles spun like propellers
launched into the air
in impotent reprisal
are excellent lines and show how little we affect the might of the beast and the world per say
i'm sure there's a cliche in there somewhere but i don't care, i like it how it is. that's the trouble with critiquing something you like....you only find nice things to say about it.
i liked it, thanks for the read.
i found it to be too procrastinating...at first, then cometh godzilla it all fitted together.
i do see a message in their and godzilla being used as a sort of carrier which makes it work as a strong 2nd level. (if it was intended to be so) the haiku at the end, just stops short of being a senryu (which means it's a haiku...just) which ties in really well with gozira
The roof tiles spun like propellers
launched into the air
in impotent reprisal
are excellent lines and show how little we affect the might of the beast and the world per say
i'm sure there's a cliche in there somewhere but i don't care, i like it how it is. that's the trouble with critiquing something you like....you only find nice things to say about it.
i liked it, thanks for the read.