04-29-2012, 06:44 PM
Between the moralizing tone, and the often obvious if not forced rhymes, I found this difficult to get through. I have rarely found finger pointing an effective means of getting a point across, or of changing someones mind.
"your mind's expression" a mind does not have an expression, it has a thought. A thought in turn may be expressed through a word or a gesture.
Overall, this seems to reek of an oversimplified worldview, which assigns simplistic motives to complex situation, and then condemns the actions of those involved. I generally try and stay away from commenting on content, but in this case the validity of the poem rest on the accuracy of the speaker's evaluation of observed, or at least hypothesized events, and as this leads to sweeping generalizations (some of which are not even clear) it undermines whatever validity the poem might otherwise have. It is much like shooting fish in a barrel. Regardless of the institution, whether religion, government, et al, it is always easy to find corruption, or to point out as hypocritical those areas where humans fail to meet ideals they supposedly champion.
Dale
Dale
"your mind's expression" a mind does not have an expression, it has a thought. A thought in turn may be expressed through a word or a gesture.
Overall, this seems to reek of an oversimplified worldview, which assigns simplistic motives to complex situation, and then condemns the actions of those involved. I generally try and stay away from commenting on content, but in this case the validity of the poem rest on the accuracy of the speaker's evaluation of observed, or at least hypothesized events, and as this leads to sweeping generalizations (some of which are not even clear) it undermines whatever validity the poem might otherwise have. It is much like shooting fish in a barrel. Regardless of the institution, whether religion, government, et al, it is always easy to find corruption, or to point out as hypocritical those areas where humans fail to meet ideals they supposedly champion.
Dale
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.