A Fallen Nation

[Leanne]

Hello there Passionate Poet, I'd like to just show you a quick impression of how I think all the suggestions billy and addy have mentioned might come together:

We're living in a world that’s lost its soul
Right down to its core, it’s heartless and cold.
Though millions of people cry out in despair,
It's just wasted breath; they cannot repair
The cracks each generation has left behind;
Their mindless behavior could not be confined.
We can hope for peace,
We can fight for reformation --
In return we get a useless, fallen nation.
If we owned the whole world, we'd never be satisfied --
Our hearts only desire more and more,
Consumed by the emptiness that fills us from the inside,
Oh what have we become, a nation of heartless?
Oh what will we do, to restore this mess?
Our hearts are made of stone,
Our souls are ice cold,
No longer can we see the path that will lead us to the fold.

Also, beware of cliches like stone hearts and ice cold -- search for more interesting ways to say these things. But at the end of the day, you have the bones of a good poem here, with emotion that will come out more if you trim away some of that excess.

Thank you for posting