Letter

[Philatone]

Hey!
some thoughts to consider

The door was open each morning when it should have been closed.
You knew how sensitive Stan was.
A simple draft and he'd shake like a slaughterhouse pig.
I wonder if he knew? Nobody has walls, darling.
We think we put them up but we don't.
You'd have your back to me when I'd come in,
pretending to clean plates or darn Lily's socks.
(Who darns socks after breakfast?
I'm genuinely curious.) ...I like the line above much more than this added on line, though it is entirely personal preference. I think the line above it already conveys that sentiment, though perhaps not quite as strongly as you wanted?

...I have mixed feelings so far. the first line strikes me as a tad too descriptive and direct for an opening. the "I wonder...we don't" also did little for me. I do like the "A simple draft" line

At first I think it was the minute popping of buttons which aroused you.
I had the finest blouse on our street.
Ted was so proud when we went to the pub,
and I ordered a gin while every girl scowled.
Among all the whispers of "how does she dare?"
"with everyone scrimping she shows up in that?"
"Ted must have robbed the post office,"
you looked and sipped your wine,
quietly held by some mystery. ...think this line could be dropped. for me, the quotations stole some of the stanza's momentum away. I liked everything before them; "I ordered...scowled" is great! In some ways, just saying "I had the finest blouse on our street" and "I ordered a gin while every girl scowled" already convey enough of the separation between the speaker, Ted, and the others for me

Of course, each time, after I'd sat where Stan had just sat, ...this line feels like it could be trimmed
you put down a sock or a plate, and turned around,
accessed by that small popping. The silence itself had a charm. ...what popping? from the seat?
I smoked a cigarette and studied the paneling, ...don't need the comma
like a bored prostitute. I think that was part of the original thrill.
You looked like you'd never seen breasts other than your own before. ...again, I like the closing two lines

Now Stan is dead and the door remains closed.
You gave him the marriage he wanted. Applied lipstick daily,
made meals, accompanied him to the pub now and then,
bore Lily and Daniel, darned Lily's socks, cleaned plates,
and mopped his brow each night near the end.
Now is the time to give me a key.

...this strikes me as straight description, little action, and very summative. too much, too quickly, and it makes it harder for me to get drawn in

I think trimming could really polish this piece. I hope some of what I've said is helpful