Pearls of Wisdom

[Philatone]

hello tec! I hope this finds you well
some thoughts

Edit 1 billy

To enter in, the knife must be both slick and keen. ...very nitpicky, but "enter in" felt a bit redundant to me. otherwise, I really like the opening
The clamped, thick shell, held fast by might,
determined to resist; yet fight
is but a static hold which by
a twist and snap, the oysters die
and there within the pearl is seen. ..think this is a strong opening to the poem. It's fitting to begin with the process of getting a pearl, the violence

Yet few contain this lustrous orb, this gleaming prize,..."few" threw me off for a moment; I first thought the subject was "pearl" because that was what the last line ended on. then the "lustrous orb" came, so it couldn't have been described twice...I get it, and though I'm not great at reading, I wanted it to be a little clearer that "oysters" is that "few". however, I do blame myself
that certainty needs numbers high;...understood, but wasn't the biggest fan of "numbers"
no one is sure, so many try.
Like pearls of wisdom, rare indeed,...bridges the physical sense of the word to the figurative
and valued thus, subject to greed,...could drop the second comma
by those pretenders… wishful wise.

Great men who wisdom held to be, wise in their lives...the inversion didn't work as well for me in this line; again, the comma feels like excess
in quanta dispensate their word;
in but a quiet quote, just heard...."just heard" felt like it was tagging alone, not important, used more for form
Yet for this gifted, crafted tome
wars end in peace and soldiers, home,
lay in their beds with grateful wives....strong couplet; "grateful" is wonderful

Mahatmas bother, fuss and seek to cultivate
the pearl as pure as unbreathed air,
that journeys, bliss-filled, take few there; ...the "there" I found interesting, but ultimately I don't think it works before the "mocksha" bit; I find it hard to put a pronoun before the noun it is modifying, especially if it hasn't been used before. I may be too grounded in grammar. perhaps a dash instead of a semicolon could act like a better bridge
to mocksha where all wisdom lies
and bodhi…man, in flesh despised,
becomes by truth , initiate.

Did Plato then a pearl dispense to Aristotle in his youth?
And if the truth of this is clear
was wisdom passed from one great seer....felt unfinished to me; I was expecting a "to __________" but it never came. maybe "passed on from
by written word and anecdote?
Or by a meme; the wise will note
that wisdom substitutes for proof.

Tectak
2011


Already posted in another place but mildly edited for the prestigious critics on this site. You know who you are.
What is wisdom?

i like the explorations of the pearl; you carried it to many places I would never have reached unaided. I also like the subtle hints of violence/ negativity and peace throughout, what with the reference to war, greed, and death.

I'm sorry that my biases appear to have gotten the better of me for a number of my suggestions, but I do hope they can give you something to mull over