Doubt of Silence

[billy]

V. 2 edited out the "that"s

Doubt of Silence

It is late to send a call
miles down a serrated coast
to reach your dial tone.

But, like the time between
an arrival and an embrace,

the waiting for your voice
to click into focus
lifts the receiver, this works if you "the person" is the receiver and your spirit is being lifted, if that's not the intent , would 'and lift the receiver' work better. though it does work in either way

the longing for an answer
decrypts ten digits

while the doubt of silence
gives enough patience
to follow the lecture of every ring

with enough impatience
to call again.

the point i made is just and either or, the thing does work well for me. i do like the two, three, two ,three, thing you have going on and i think it shows you're thinking about more than churning something out. i do prefer this format to the couplet format you normally use

the ending says it all, i like the idea of the phone communicating something with you as well. it adds to the impatience.

thanks for the read