Do you feel it?

[Philatone]

I didn't intend a LOT of this

understandable; I find some of the poems I dislike the most that I write suffer from too much planning. Personally, I prefer the route of venturing into the unknown rather than trying to arrive at a fixed ending. You can always edit after!

with regards to the revision...

Cut, do you feel it?
If another felt it
How would you know it feels? ...what exactly "feels"? The cut? A cut can feel? Is this supposed to read "How would you know how it feels? opening with questions is not my favorite strategy because it can be somewhat weak; this strikes me as a case where I think making a statement rather than a question will give you strength. Let's assume that the cut is felt; how does that change things?
Perhaps, an electric circuit
Whereby no pain, just.. reroute...not a strong ending for me. what does a circuit feel like? Using "like" may help ease the transition into these lines, or at least including a verb like a form of "to be"

Spoken, the mind is happy
Professionals hooked on regular validation-
Quipped, reversed or returned.
Adult children working a checkout line: ...I would make "working" into a verb form- "work"
Competition-members, alert for attackers, ..."alert for" strikes me as a bit odd. maybe "wary of". I think i'm getting the meaning here as people trying to rat each other out, something I hadn't seen originally, which helps your case for "ammunition" (although, I think further work will only help it more)
Whose leaked ammunition taken, fired. ...again, an actual verb would do wonders here

Spoken, the mind is happy
To converse in unique tones each of us: ...is "each of us" the subject or object of a missing preposition "to"?
The mind is alien natured to voice...have reservations about "alien natured," though I like the idea
Blissfully unaware, each of us
And bound to value brain's self, one's face
A child in all life's scupperings. [b]...whoa. "scupperings" caught me off guard because it does not fit the rest of the poem's word choice.

i'm still seeing the first stanza as the weakest link of the piece; I wanted a slightly more visible connection to the rest of the piece (it is probably there, but I'm failing to see it right now)