11:10am

11:10am

jmnical Offline

newbie

Posts: 7
Threads: 2
Joined: Apr 2012

04-14-2012, 10:57 PM

I apologize in advance for being new at critique; take my suggestions with a grain of salt!

I like the second stanza a lot and I would be interested in a longer first stanza. i'm in agreement with philatone about "gore my heart," also. i do like "hollow grays," though!

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Messages In This Thread

11:10am - by heslopian - 04-13-2012, 07:32 PM

RE: 11:10am - by Philatone - 04-14-2012, 04:19 PM

RE: 11:10am - by Chaotic Body - 04-17-2012, 11:39 PM

RE: 11:10am - by jmnical - 04-14-2012, 10:57 PM

RE: 11:10am - by heslopian - 04-16-2012, 11:13 AM

RE: 11:10am - by addy - 04-16-2012, 01:09 PM

RE: 11:10am - by Philatone - 04-16-2012, 02:00 PM

RE: 11:10am - by Erthona - 04-17-2012, 02:19 PM

RE: 11:10am - by Bronte - 04-17-2012, 03:12 PM

RE: 11:10am - by Erthona - 04-17-2012, 08:26 PM

RE: 11:10am - by heslopian - 04-18-2012, 08:23 AM

RE: 11:10am - by billy - 04-19-2012, 12:36 PM

RE: 11:10am - by Indie - 05-01-2012, 09:11 AM

RE: 11:10am - by heslopian - 05-01-2012, 03:13 PM

RE: 11:10am - by tectak - 05-01-2012, 07:19 PM

RE: 11:10am - by heslopian - 05-01-2012, 07:51 PM

RE: 11:10am - by tectak - 05-01-2012, 11:46 PM

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