04-13-2012, 04:41 PM
another word i had to look up, i thought gestalt was about seeing shapes within.
i found it was also to do why psychiatry.
the couplets worked really well in that they held their own completeness. most of the lines are worth a 2nd and 3rd read. the last couplet feels tagged on and unnecessary, its also cliche. i just read it again and there is so much to like;
Body imperfect strains to pace that part of me which youth recalls.is most excellent.
the line lengths feels perfect. the 'rage' ate the end makes me want to add something and feels comfortable with the rest of the poem.
apart from the last couple i see no nits apart from a spelling mistake already mentioned.
thanks for the read. wish i could have been of more use.
i found it was also to do why psychiatry.
the couplets worked really well in that they held their own completeness. most of the lines are worth a 2nd and 3rd read. the last couplet feels tagged on and unnecessary, its also cliche. i just read it again and there is so much to like;
Body imperfect strains to pace that part of me which youth recalls.is most excellent.
the line lengths feels perfect. the 'rage' ate the end makes me want to add something and feels comfortable with the rest of the poem.
apart from the last couple i see no nits apart from a spelling mistake already mentioned.
thanks for the read. wish i could have been of more use.