04-08-2012, 12:18 PM
this reminds me of the film whiskey galore, (an oldie)
i feels earthy and the syntax feels the same, (imagine Spencer Tracey with a Scots accent)
We'll eat our clap-shot from the pot
The pot down the chimney hooked
Black on its chain, hooked from the stone
for me this set the theme of the poem more than anything else. i think you could edit out anything that really doesn't add to the piece abu. and maybe give some character to the narrator.
"ay, let me tap me pipe oot first wee laddie" (okay, that's not good hehe but you night see what i mean)
let's hear the narrators broadness.
all in all i enjoyed it very much.
thanks for the read.
i feels earthy and the syntax feels the same, (imagine Spencer Tracey with a Scots accent)
We'll eat our clap-shot from the pot
The pot down the chimney hooked
Black on its chain, hooked from the stone
for me this set the theme of the poem more than anything else. i think you could edit out anything that really doesn't add to the piece abu. and maybe give some character to the narrator.
"ay, let me tap me pipe oot first wee laddie" (okay, that's not good hehe but you night see what i mean)
let's hear the narrators broadness.
all in all i enjoyed it very much.
thanks for the read.