04-06-2012, 10:26 AM
[quote='Leanne' pid='93860' dateline='1333673860']
V, I'm pressed for time just at the moment but I really did want to give you a first impression.
The thing that strikes me the most about the composition of the poem is its "folding", achieved by repetition and varied punctuation/ grammar/ line breaks to echo the subject. The effect is marvellous -- it's like origami poetry
I wonder, if you wrote a thousand of these would your wish come true?
In the closing lines, I believe you should have "Blossom" (unless you just like a bosom with a bit extra!)
Lol-- Yikes!
I corrected the error.
Leanne,
the poem is an example of Grammar B.
Have you heard of it?-- popular in
the 70's. ... 'the tangerine flake.'
And in Eliot's Wasteland-- the tavern passage
"Hurry up please, it's time."
Thanks for the comments.
roy hobbs
V, I'm pressed for time just at the moment but I really did want to give you a first impression.
The thing that strikes me the most about the composition of the poem is its "folding", achieved by repetition and varied punctuation/ grammar/ line breaks to echo the subject. The effect is marvellous -- it's like origami poetry
I wonder, if you wrote a thousand of these would your wish come true?In the closing lines, I believe you should have "Blossom" (unless you just like a bosom with a bit extra!)
Lol-- Yikes!
I corrected the error.
Leanne,
the poem is an example of Grammar B.
Have you heard of it?-- popular in
the 70's. ... 'the tangerine flake.'
And in Eliot's Wasteland-- the tavern passage
"Hurry up please, it's time."
Thanks for the comments.
roy hobbs