Praesopitus

[Veronique]

hey V

[quote='Veronique' pid='93722' dateline='1333475986']
He himself said, ...could drop the comma
he was not master of the school--
(though he had apparent charge)
He acted as a headmaster would act.
No doubt of that--
perhaps it was in his deeds...."deeds" felt a little flat; I wanted an actual example or description. could just be me

Through that fall semester
others made for him claims, ..."for him claims" felt just slightly awkward
but he was silent about what was said;
and he was ever around-- appearing
for special events on special days;

He said, and quietly so, “Praesopitus says.”

One day he whom we called Praesopitus ...slightly awkward. suggestion: "One day the man we called Praesopitus"
called fortth all students to Meredith Hall. ...watch the spelling on "forth".
When they had settled down, he said.
"All will have recess one day a week.
We’ll sup at 6 with wine and fellowship.
We'll be kind to children and
watch them play. We will visit
the imprisoned, give to beggers drink,
feed the hungry, clothe those naked and cold."

Was the headmaster a Praesopitus?
We know him truly as headmaster,
and only problematically as a Praesopitus.

Then he by that name Praesopitus
at a special supper surprised all attending
by calling for the demolition of the school—
all the buildings and the grounds,
all upon which the students depended....I didn't get enough of the students depending on this building from the poem; this line could have been taken away with little impact on me

Questions came—
no satisfactory answers were given.
Departed they, the students away, ...possibly switch the comma to "the students, away
from the man called Praesopitus.
Traveled back to their homes,
reunions with friends....again, makes it seem like the "dependence" of the stanza above is slightly exaggerated, if everyone makes it back home OK
But unbeknown to faculty and students,
Praesopitus, in a generous scheme
of reorganization, had arranged for
a new, altogether superior campus
to be built a distance away....the last four lines felt a bit more direct than I would have liked; read more like a book or the end of a fairytale than an actual poem to me

v

interesting read; kept me going until the end. hope this is of use

******
I know,

I'll never gete the 'hang' of poetry.
What I write is prose. I admit.

So what am I doing?

Irritating people, probably.
Doing what I always spoke against-- relying
on ideas, when my favorite poet, Ranson,
sought to eject all ideas from poetry.

A Kemnyon Review article many, many years
ago (one 'many' would have sufficed)...
I have it somewhere. I'll find it and post
another comment.

I rememner the phrase 'pure poetry' -- poetry
without idea.

hmmmmmm ...

Thanks for the comments. I was trying to
demonstrate 'discernment' and 'commitment'--
two terms central to religious language.

It's better not to have 'anything' in mind
when scribbling a poem, except locations of
the Irish whiskey bottle and the back porch.