Lying

[billy]

I typed up a whole page of an answer to whether I lie or not and how much, but then I realized that most of it was exaggerated or abbreviated to make it sound better. My documentation then must be held accountable so that I can accurately describe my life's habitual lying influence.

I enlisted the aid of a dear friend, my iPhone. I began to document each and every lie I told during the day. I was at work that day.

6:14am
Boss lady comes outside and says 'You forgot to clock in this morning. What time did you get here?'
I lie and say, '5:57'

I actually got there and 6:04 and purposely neglected to clock in because I knew she would fix my time and then I wouldn't be tardy and lose a quarter of an hour.

Why I chose 5:57, I'm not sure. I think it just sounded believable.

I lied for personal gain.

7:05am
Customer asks me if we have any more Gothic mailbox posts in stock.
I say 'No.'

We had twenty of them, but it was raining and I knew that I would get soaking wet getting the damn things so I just told them to come back tomorrow and we would have received them in a shipment by then. It wasn't in the forecast to rain then.

I lied for my own comfort.

10:21am
Girl that I used to date comes onto the lumber yard with a new boyfriend that looks like a mix between Brad Pitt and Vin Diesel. We start talking and she asks if I'm dating anyone.
I say, 'No.'

I am dating several people, but none of them can match up to the dude she is with so I just lie to keep from looking like I left her for someone that doesn't add up.

I lied for pride.

2:45pm
I've just got home from work and Chris calls me to see what I'm doing. I know that he wants to come by and hang out, but I am tired and don't feel like company.
I say that I'm busy working on Rant Central so he won't come over.

I was playing COD and scanning SuprBay

I lied because I am a prick.

8:24pm
This girl I know texts me and wants to see if I can give her a ride to town.
I say that I was asleep because I have to be up early in the morning.

I had nowhere to be the next day and I was wide awake in my underwear going through programming exercises on my PC.

I lied because I don't like her that much . . . or maybe because I am selfish.

---

Actually that whole thing was a lie, but that is the kind of stuff I lie about. I will lie to calm someone down, make things go smooth or just because I feel more comfortable with a lie than the truth.

I feel no shame. It is a cold world and we have to do what we have to do to survive.

i wrote this piece before mark did