Metempsychosis

[Todd]

Hi Aish,

I'm not sure I'm getting this, but I'll give it a try. Thank god for the title. Taking it into account, I think we are visually being introduced to the process of reincarnation or transmigration. Whether this is intentional or not this has almost a Lovecraftian feel to it with the underwater feeling and the pin-hole star mouths with their wormy tongues. It's a bit ominous.

Vintage eschara,--as with other work of yours, I like the word choices. Vintage is an interesting modifier. In the context, it suggests something a little more than age. It suggests that perhaps the thing or what the thing represents is returning into fashion. Otherwise it would just be old or ancient. There's a sense of quality conveyed by vintage.
with pin-hole star mouths
and wormy tongues--like the horror of this image. It strikes me as being an image representing physical death. The tongues being a method of conveyance.

bore
through reinforced hulls
and calcified pollution.--so we have something external that bores through the body I'm guessing. Pollution is an interesting addition. It's like we build up a shell as we walk through our lives. This could be a more figurative hardening of our ideas or how we limit ourselves in our preconceptions.

Phoneme linked pheromones,--This is a bit of a mouthful. So, trying to work this out. Maybe this is the primitive sense of life, communication and identity. The pheromones make me think of attraction or sexual connection and the phonemes make me think of the basic sounds of language...perhaps this is saying that after death we are restored to something less complicated more primal...in a way more pure...not sure just thinking out loud
hot and naked in the center.

Vintage eschara,
with pin-hole star mouths
and wormy tongues;--repetition for emphasis...no issues with that

the entombed are alive.--so, the body is a tomb that we are buried within. At least that's how I'm reading it. I like that that which we fear is actually meant to help us. We've misinterpreted everything.

Alive,
and wicked
and dreaming...--Not sure I like the repetion of alive on the stand alone line. Another possibility might be to change the above end punctuation, eliminate the second alive and then bring it back later...something like:


and wicked
alive and wicked
and dreaming...

That may or may not be any better just something to consider.

A good read.

Best,

Todd